04 December 2007

Dear Cube,

Shave, then put down the horn.

As a former "clean up the crap in the middle-east by killing lots of people" field rep, I would pass along the learning that blowing a horn and wearing a Fez is a great opportunity to find out if "Mo" was right about the 72 virgins.

Initial surveys of thousands of "crispy critters" says "Mo" was wrong. Most survey respondents just fall apart when probed with a bayonet.

29 November 2007

Fatwa of the Cubicle Gangsta

From this point forward, in addition to blogging about videogames and the culture that surrounds it, lets start blogging about tech and gadgets and the way that they interweave within our lives.

We, of the Hello Kitty BubbleGum DeathSquad, are constantly exposed to myriad wondrous technologies here on our secret island lair. Whether it be a new death-ray, weather machine, EMP disruptor, cell phone, or the hottest new laptop. We *do* love games too, but we should take the opportunity to share all of this other very cool stuff we run into on a daily basis.

So by my decree, we shall double our traffic of infidel jackal subscribership. So thats like, i dunno, 5(!) additional infidels!

and so shall it be...

Now if you will excuse me, i need to see if my pants are dry.


27 October 2007

Magic Bullet, Single Shooter...

The folks over at MLG would like you to believe the death of Spartan, Skyllus vBi, on Last Resort, a suicide. Well Hitler always said, the bigger the lie, the more people will believe it....

I submit to you, that "magic bullet theory" is real. This was not a "suicide", but was in fact a conspricy that was carried out by fanatical and disciplined "cold-warriors" in the Pentagon and CIA's covert operation aparattus. A public execution carried out by like-minded individuals...

Watch closely... back and to the right. baack... and to the right...BACK. andtothe right...

Camera: Model 414 PD Bell and Howell Zoomatic
Medium: Kodac Kodachrome II 8 mm
Location: Zanzibar, East Africa

04 October 2007

What We Do In Life, Echoes in Eternity...

LANFest is upon us, it is time to show your colors...

Proudly display your Halo 3 Emblem for all to lament its meaning as they lay, dying, nothing more than a sponge for your bullets....

Rubine (Fuschia) Colored
Inverted Pentagon background
White Tomcat symbol
Yellow Bow-Tie

And tomorrow, remember team! Always do for the team, becuase you are a part of the team. And the team is a part of you. Also, Team. TEAM, TEAM, TEAM.


01 October 2007

"Boss Stage 2: Rise of Hypno-Rachnid"

Name: Enraged Hypno-Rachnid

Found on: Level 65, aka Truck Yard.

Weaknesses: Undetermined

- Upgraded Laser Eyes (x8!)
- High Climb
- Web of Deception
- Enrage (The cause of the enraged size is yet to be determined but scientist believe it has something to do with cognac)

30 September 2007

The Count Down Starts

"I've come here to create a new country for you called chaos, and a new government called anarchy...all for you."

So for all you noobs out there that couldn't make it to Lanfest2K7 I will be taking my video camera so you can see how much fun we have. Owning noobs in the face and all takes so much effort.

-I Digress

28 September 2007

27 September 2007

A Ranger's Grave...

When I used to work with an82ndVet he would often tell stories starting out with the excerpt below:

File Number: 412689
Excerpt of Mission Debrief
OP: Hear Kitty Kitty 26-SEP 2007

"No s***, there I was... knee deep in hand grenade pins, just me and my sixty gunner and he was dead..."

I took this snapshot with the new features offered in Halo 3's "Theater". Obtw, that's an82ndvet on the ground and me being alive and a total badass.

22 September 2007

The Fatwa Continues!

Attention Infidels! Peace from Sanrio be with you. The mullahs are proud to announce that the glory of Hello Kitty continues to rise around the world. The "Hello Kitty DeathSQD" clan for the PS3 title "Resistance: Fall of Man" is now converting bad infidels to good infidels with well aimed weapon fire! The streets will run with the blood of the non-believers!

19 September 2007

Cross Platform Rollout!

I am pleased to announce that our insidious plan of world dominance through video-game networking (backed by my weather control machine [developed as a Black-OPS project for Wal-Mart]) is rolling along according to the timetable agreed upon by the signers of the NAFTA agreement!

Last night the "Hello Kitty Death SQD" clan was created for the PS3 online masterpiece- Warhawk. The clans single member, an82ndVet, has rocketed to the top of the global leader boards! On last check, I'm up to 91 thousand-th place! Give or take several thousand! The momentum is building, so please pass this along to your PS3 friends. Positions are still available- act now before the roster is full!

Happy TLAPD, you scurvey scum...

Aye, piracy is less and less welcome these days me mateys. But stay 'igilant for you ne'er be alone. And as always, keep an eye out for ninjas and FBI agents and such. They are ne'er to be trusted, says I...

12 September 2007

Halo 3 Game Fuel LE Bottle

Now in 7-Elevens nation wide!

11 September 2007

12/07, 6/6, 8/9, 8/15: 9/11, 12/24, 6/28, ??, ??

What numbers finish the sequence?


Never forget.

Answer Key;
12/07/41 the bombing of Pearl Harbor
6/6/44 the invasion of Normandy
8/9/45 the dropping of the first atomic bomb
8/15/45 the surender of Japan

9/11/01 the attack against the WTC, the Pentagon
12/24/01 OBL escapes CIA operatives in Tora Bora
6/28/05 Operation Redwing, Afganistan

10 September 2007

People... What a bunch of Bastards!

What has happened to the good old days when people had respect? Respect for the elders? Respect for other peoples property? When everyone in the neighborhood knew everyone and the lock and key were just a luxury?

Well I'll tell you what happened...

...Some transient found his way home with your roommate and managed to piss himself on your couch! That same couch that you are still paying for every working hour of every day! Well I have a message for those transients! You're a bunch of bastards! Believe you me you will pay! (Two new couch cushions and the fold out mattress will suffice) but in the end you will pay!

-I Digress

"Boss Stage"

Name: Hypno-rachnid

Found on: Level 4, aka CubicleGangsta's Neglected Patio

Weaknesses: Foot-attack, Priest of Orkin, Remote Atomic Interstellar Death-ray
Draws power from: Shrieks of terror, CubicleGangsta's tears

- Laser Eyes (x8!)
- Acid Venom
- Web of Lies
- Hypnosis (reserved for helping people quit smoking)
- Explosive Diarrhea

09 September 2007

Junior Reporters

Hi campers! As the senior military correspondant to HKBGDS.com, I've recruited two new "cub" reporters to help me demonstrate complex concepts in simple ways. I'm pleased to introduce the first- Duck.

Duck is demonstrating what happens when you don't seek cover when facing a "noob" armed with a 9mm Glock loaded with a 30 round mag. Glock, Glock ;)

08 September 2007

BYOC LCD Monitor Rentals for Newegg.com LANFest2k7

Don't have a monitor to take to Newegg.com's LANfest2k7?

Well, friend, does Newegg have a deal for you!

from http://www.newegg.com/lanfest2k7/

BYOC LCD Monitor Rentals

Newegg LANfest2K7 sponsor ViewSonic has made available one hundred (100) 19" VX922 LCDs for rental to BYOC attendees.

Price?: $35 for the weekend!

Only 100 are available on a first pay, first serve basis so make certain to reserve them sooner than later if you want one.

Looks like quantities are limited, so I am locking one in now.

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

Drudgeon, n.

1) A person who performs hard monotonous routine work for little to no thanks.

2) A person in an insignificant subordinate position, due no respect or acknowledgement.


Roy: They have no respect for us up there. No respect whatsoever. We're all just drudgeons to them.

Moss: Yes. If there were such a thing as a drudgeon, that is what we would be to them.

Roy: It's like they're pally-wally when there's a problem with their printer, but once it's fixed...

Moss: They toss us away like yesterday's jam.

ROFL!!1! Vader Sessions iz 100% W1N

James Earl Jones voice mashup w/ Star Wars clips

Make Your Time...

The Hello Kitty Bubblegum Deathsquad has been activated

May God have mercy on your souls...we won't